![]() We are in close quarters and if you smell like shit at home, your stinky ass is going to smell even worse at the gym. If you don't know what good hygiene is, stay home. Titties hanging out is an exception unless you are a guy - put that shit away.ħ. There is nothing worse than seeing the equivalent of what looks like 10-pounds of potatoes crammed into a 5-pound sack. If you train with a fat wife or girlfriend, expect me to hit on her. Basically, figure out what to do - the right way - before you go into the gym and take up space at the time of the year where space is limited.ĥ. ![]() People are terrible and will take a pic or video of almost anyone doing stupid shit so don't be the one that goes viral. Don't make up exercises that are stupid or you might end up on social media. I may return them when I am done, but most meatheads won't.Ĥ. I am a pretty nice guy in the gym, but if you aren't using it and you have left it unattended and I need what you have, they are now mine. Do not think you can leave dumbbells unattended while you do another exercise and expect them to be there when you get back. Everyone else wants to use the dumbbells, too, so take one set of dumbbells and when it is time to use the others, put the dumbbells you are using back and grab the other set.ģ. The gym is packed after the first of the year and no one is going to support your circuit program that you read about in Family Circle or Woman's Day Magazine. This means if you plan to do drop-sets with 3 or more sets of dumbbells, go home instead. ![]() The only time you should be in that area is to get your dumbbells or put them back.Ģ. If that space is not delineated by a yellow line, pretend there is one and it is roughly 5 feet in front of the rack. This means get your dumbbells and get the hell out of the area in front of the dumbbell rack to do your exercises. Don't rest your ballsack (or vajayjay) on the dumbbell rack. ![]() You will get in the way in the parking lot, on the gym floor and in the locker room, but I am going to minimize your risk of getting bitched out by the holier-than-thou meatheads that will hate you being there whether you stick with it or not.ġ. Instead, I am going to give some advice to those who plan to go to the gym and may lack gym etiquette. My ideas are not about how to help my fat wife (she's so cute fat, though) buckle down and stay focused on her goal after the Holidays. And just as fatties don't want to start dieting and working out before the Holidays, I do not want to quit chewing just yet, either. Why not quit now? Because just as the New Year gives fatties a clean slate to potentially get less fat, it also offers me the opportunity for a clean slate, as well. In fact, I should probably resolve to quit chewing in the new year because I really do need to quit. I don't need to put myself on some ridiculous pedestal and pretend I am better than they are. Basically, I am not a dick and want to support people. It does get old, but that does not change the fact that some people really DO want to change and though only a small percentage will last through February, I try to be as supportive as I can for the few that actually might stick with it. Nevermind that they don't recall doing the exact same thing only a year ago and probably the year prior. I do, however, admit to rolling my eyes more than a few times over the Holidays while out-of-shape people - drunk on eggnog - proselytize about the plan they have to get into shape. In some way, it makes us feel superior to laymen and we must take the opportunity at this time of the year to remind all of the undisciplined and "average" people of the world that we are superior and, therefore, do not need such plebeian goals. In our industry, we like to make fun of resolutions and those who make them.
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